Imaginary Dad

                                  Was so imaginary   he ceased to exist

 

he wasn’t sleeping   in a treehouse    or stalking the woods

 

in fatigues    cheeks smeared green    with camouflage grease

 

a knife between his teeth    like I had envisioned him

 

he was just a married guy   

                                                living

 

in a small town    near a dozen   of my made-up cousins

 

kin so distant    they didn’t even know    to miss me

 

all their lives

 

                           I’d picture them

 

fumbling in their pockets    through loose change

 

patting their pants   in search of something

 

left behind   all the time    never knowing

 

what it was

                       or what it was like

 

to eat Twizzlers    while watching   Apocalypse Now

 

in a darkened theater   on Bleecker St.   

                                                                           to think

 

each time a soldier    appeared on screen    Now, there’s a dad

 

if I ever saw one   because of course   they’d seen one

 

he was nothing like that    and he belonged to me

A desperate longing for a father who wasn't

Bibliographical info

Tina Cane’s “Imaginary Dad” Copyright ©2023 by Tina Cane. Source “Imaginary Dad” ” from Poetry Foundation (February 2023), https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/159445/imaginary-dad

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