Doña Josefina Counsels Doña Conceptión Before Entering Sears

Conchita debemos to speak totalmente in English

cuando we go into Sears okay     Por qué

Porque didn’t you hear lo que pasó     It say

on the eleven o’clock news anoche que two robbers

was caught in Sears and now this is the part

I’m not completely segura que I got everything

porque channel 2 tiene tú sabes that big fat guy

that’s hard to understand porque his nose sit on his lip

like a elefante pues the point es que the robbers the police say

was two young men pretty big y one have a hairy face

and the other is calvo that’s right he’s baldy and okay

believe me qué barbaridad porque Hairy Face

and Mister Baldy goes right into the underwear department

takes all the money from the caja yeah uh-huh the cash register

and mira Mister Baldy goes to this poor Italian woman that I

guess would be like us sixty o sixty-five who is in the section

of the back-support brassieres and he makes her put a big bra

over her head para que she can’t see nothing and kneel

like she’s talking to God to save her poor life

and other things horrible pero the point como dije

es que there was two of them and both was speaking Spanish

y por eso is a good thing Conchita so the people at Sears

don’t confuse us with Hairy and Baldy that we speak English only

okay ready

                  Oh what a nice day to be aquí en Sears Miss Conception