Refraction

Driving down the 401

your hands on the wheel

me, anticipating

The way the sun would glint

catch the pink

the blue

the way they rose up

My glass castles

You never told me they were office buildings.

Instead, you said

"Tell me about them"

We built stories

...knights & dragons

pegasus & unicorns...

driving through

Tkaronto

Now I sit beside you

laughing

I want to remember the laughing.

The last thing we'll do

is (hold hands)

and I'll sing your favourite songs

Me, in a chair

shaking

scared

Your hands on my shoulders

Your voice, calm

the teacher

wanted me gone

the school 

wanted me gone

You didn't believe their lies.

Instead, you looked them in the eye

and said

"No"

Out on the sidewalk

You swore...

(You never swore like that before!)

"Never let them see you angry"

"They love to see us angry"

Hunched over

aching

I stand up

You reach over the rails

and rub my back

"Are you alright"

You ask

Shouldn't I be asking you that?

Sledding

You, holding me tight

us taking flight

Stomachs in our throats

snow in the face

screaming

joy

We should have bailed.

Instead, we crashed

Your leg tangled in the chain link fence

I loosened boot laces

(Small hands, slender fingers)

I saved you that day

I'm sitting here

staring, waiting

Where are you?

I play with plastic cups

and pink hospital swabs

stacking

When they roll you in

they roll their eyes

(See?)

I made you a castle.

Instead, you laugh

"What kind of mother raised you"

Good question.